Burnout and I Were Best Friends

When I say I burned out, I mean I burned ALL THE WAY out.

I was a band director for 7 years, and the job took almost everything from me - my joy, my spark, my energy, and it almost took my marriage. I knew I wasn’t 100%, but I didn’t know how to fix it or why I wasn’t me anymore.

Let me be perfectly clear -I caused 80% of my burnout.

I was in 2 leadership roles, mentoring 2 new teachers, running my own program, AND I never said no. I caused my burnout because I was boundary-less. The only boundary I really had was not taking work home with me. (Hallelu)

I was giving so much of me into teaching and judging others who weren’t doing the same.

(Ouch. Harsh.) Little did I know, I was about to become the people I judged so harshly.

The Monday after Thanksgiving break, I looked at my coworker and said “I can’t do this anymore. I need to take time off.” I was SHATTERED. The people pleaser in me couldn’t fathom disappointing those around me, but my choice was to disappoint my team or totally lose myself.

I took time off -

poured into my business, but most importantly, I poured into myself.

I checked into an Intensive Outpatient Program (basically, intense group therapy every day) and never looked back. I realized I had to finally prioritize my mental health.

IOP changed my life and even saved my life. After my first month, my hair was growing back thicker, my nervous system relaxed, and I gained perspective on SO MANY things in my life. This is when I realized I was the one in charge of my burnout. (Gut punch)

I’m so damn glad I did for a few reasons -

1. I have the tools to get me back on track when needed

2. I see it in other people

3. Like when I was teaching, I can meet people where they are

   
   

Full transparency -

My husband is in burnout. Just like when I was deep in burnout - it puts a strain on our relationship sometimes. He knows it, I know it.

His signs are subtle -

Forgetfulness, nitpicking, lots of workouts, extra tired but can’t sleep, irritated at little things. My signs were not as subtle - over and under sleeping, weight gain, ZERO energy, secluding myself, trying to control every. Little. Thing.

Since I’ve been best friends with burnout for years now, I’ve gotten really good at seeing not only the signs, but meeting everyone where they are in burnout. That’s why I think my business is so valuable.

I like to think I’m really good at seeing where my clients are and meeting them there.

No judgement, no shame. Just empathy. I’ve been in their shoes, and all they want is someone to come in and fix it. (Without feeling like their business isn’t theirs anymore.)

If you’re feeling burnt out and are scared of being judged - I promise you, you’re safe here.

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